Wine Vault Security Fees Surge After String of Midnight “Tasting” Incidents

BORDEAUX — Luxury storage facilities are tightening security following a rash of late-night “tasting incidents” that left dozens of vintage collections mysteriously lighter and hundreds of connoisseurs suspiciously mellow.

Managers insist there’s no evidence of theft, only “misunderstanding.” “When your clientele sleepwalks in linen pajamas holding crystal stemware, you don’t call the police,” said one vault director. “You raise your rates.”

Insurers now require biometric locks, motion-sensing corks, and sobriety verification before entry. “It’s not about security,” explained a broker. “It’s about dignity — and liability.”

Despite the scandal, the market for insured vintages has soared. Collectors describe it as “the only liquid asset that still appreciates.”

From The Biscuit.