Crypto Exchange Collapses After CEO Revealed to Be Hoarding Savings Bonds

Confidence in the Apex Digital Exchange collapsed Tuesday following the revelation that its founder and CEO, while publicly evangelizing a "fiat-free future," had privately accumulated $4.3 million in U.S. savings bonds, the financial instrument most associated with birthday cards from grandparents. "He was at every conference calling cash 'emotional baggage,'" said one early investor, watching their portfolio reduce in real time. "And the whole time, he had a literal filing cabinet of Series I bonds."

The CEO issued a statement calling the bonds "a personal curiosity" and "not inconsistent with his overall philosophical framework." He has since stopped returning calls. His savings bonds remain, by all accounts, performing steadily.